Infidelity therapy for expats

When an affair unsettles your life abroad

Your partner may also be your closest local connection, the reason you moved, or the person whose job supports your household. If the relationship feels uncertain, questions about housing, money, friendships and where to live can arrive at once.

You may want to tell someone at home and worry that doing so will make it harder to choose what happens next. Or you may be trying to work, parent and manage ordinary tasks while returning to the same unanswered questions.

Therapy offers a place to examine those questions. We can separate what needs attention now from what can wait. Practical deadlines still matter. Legal, immigration and financial decisions need advice from the relevant qualified professional.

You can come alone or enquire as a couple

If you attend alone, we work with your experience. I cannot assess your absent partner or tell you what they really think.

What we might work on first

We begin with what is happening now. Has contact with the other person ended? What has been disclosed? What conversations keep escalating or going nowhere? Are both of you able to say what you want without intimidation?

For the partner who has been betrayed, questions may concern what happened, whether the account keeps changing and what would make daily life manageable. For the partner who had the affair, work may include answering for their choices without using shame, defensiveness or the relationship’s earlier difficulties to evade responsibility.

We can later examine the wider relationship if that serves the work. Problems between you do not make the betrayed partner responsible for the affair. Equally, an apology does not oblige them to stay.

If the affair is ongoing or important information is being concealed, that changes what joint work can realistically do. Before starting, we agree how confidentiality and information shared individually will be handled.

Making decisions without being pushed towards an ending

Some people want to attempt repair. Some want support with separation. Others need time to understand what they are willing to live with. My role is to help you examine your experience and choices, not to campaign for one outcome.

A useful starting point may be a boundary for the coming week: which conversations you can manage, where you will get support, or what practical information you need before a decision. If ending the relationship is becoming the main question, see separation therapy for expats.

Where there is fear, coercion or violence, joint therapy may not be appropriate. Tell me privately about safety concerns when enquiring. The NHS guide to domestic abuse support explains options, including support for men. If you are abroad and in immediate danger, use local emergency services.

How we begin

I am Kita Tabachka, a Bulgarian-born, UK-based BACP-registered relational therapist. My work includes individuals and couples living abroad. You can read about my approach and check my BACP directory profile.

We start with a free 15–20 minute consultation. You can tell me what brings you, ask questions and decide whether you would like to continue. We discuss your needs, the country you will attend from, privacy and available appointments before agreeing to work together.

For couples work, both partners attend the consultation. If we begin, I usually meet each of you individually to understand your background before joint sessions. We agree the purpose, fees and confidentiality arrangements for those meetings first.

Online therapy while living abroad

I work online from the UK. I do not have a clinic in your city. Before accepting an appointment, I check your location, professional arrangements and whether this service fits your needs. Tell me before travelling or moving country so we can review whether the work can continue. Read how therapy across borders is assessed.

You need a private place to speak, a suitable device and a reliable connection. We agree confidentiality and its limits before starting. Appointment availability is confirmed in your local time.

If you and your partner attend from different countries, we check both locations. If you are looking for support with betrayal without the relocation context, read about therapy for broken trust.

Questions you may have

Where to go next