Individual online therapy · With Kita Tabachka
Relationship anxiety therapy
If relationship worries are taking up more of your day than you want, you can bring them here. We can look at what happens before you start checking, asking for reassurance or pulling away, and what you need from the relationship itself. You do not need to have an explanation ready.
£70 for 50 minutes
Book a free consultation15–20 minutes · Online · In English
Is this taking up more space than you want?
You may be checking your messages before you are fully awake, replaying a disagreement at work, or asking your partner for reassurance and feeling unsure again an hour later. Perhaps you are holding back a concern because you fear their response.
You can seek support while you are in a relationship, dating, or trying to understand a pattern that has followed earlier relationships. You do not need your partner to attend.
“I keep reading into every message.”
We can look at a recent exchange, the meaning you gave it and what happened next. We can also examine whether your expectations about contact have been discussed and whether agreements are being kept.
“I ask if we are OK, but the relief does not last.”
We can explore the repeated question and what reassurance does for you. It matters whether there is an unresolved issue, a pattern of checking, or something else that needs assessment.
“I cannot tell whether it is my anxiety or the relationship.”
We will include your partner’s actual behaviour and the circumstances of the relationship. Your concern will not automatically be explained as an old wound or an attachment style.
Therapy for fear of rejection or abandonment
“I am scared they will leave.” “If I say what I need, I will be too much.” You may recognise these fears when a message goes unanswered, a partner needs space or a disagreement leaves things uncertain.
We can explore what you fear will happen, what is happening in the relationship now and how you respond. That may include repeated reassurance, holding back your needs or withdrawing before someone else can. We will not assume every fear is unfounded or explain away another person’s hurtful behaviour.
Individual counselling gives you space to consider boundaries, communication and your choices without your partner attending. If worry reaches beyond relationships, read about online therapy for anxiety. If feeling unworthy is central, explore therapy for shame and low self-esteem.
What we can work on together
I will ask about the moments that are difficult, rather than expecting you to describe your whole relationship at once. A recent disagreement or evening spent checking messages gives us a place to begin.
- Understand a specific pattern. We look at what happens, what you think it means, how you respond and what follows. Your past may be relevant, but we also attend to your current circumstances.
- Clarify the concern or need. You may need to ask a question, express a preference, set a boundary or consider a difficult choice. We can make that more specific.
- Consider a different response. This might include practising how to raise a concern, noticing when repeated checking is taking over, or allowing time before reacting.
- Review what happened. We return to what you tried and whether it helped. Therapy needs to connect with what is happening in your life outside the appointment.
I will not decide whether you should stay or leave, diagnose a partner I have not assessed, or promise that therapy will remove every doubt. The work is to help you understand your experience and make choices with more clarity.
If you would like to read before enquiring: start with what relationship anxiety means or the worked example in why you may overthink your relationship.
When another kind of support may be needed
If intrusive doubts and repetitive rituals take substantial time or disrupt your daily life, we should consider whether specialist OCD assessment or treatment is needed. Relationship anxiety and relationship-focused OCD are not interchangeable. I will discuss the limits of the support I can offer rather than assume ordinary relationship counselling is the right approach.
If there are threats, coercion or abuse, your safety and access to appropriate support matter. The response should not simply be to communicate better with your partner. Tell me privately about concerns that could affect how we work.
Who you will meet, what it costs and how to begin
I am Kita Tabachka, a BACP-registered therapist working with individuals and couples, including people navigating relationships and life abroad. You can check my BACP registration, 409623, and read about my background.
Individual online appointments cost £70 for 50 minutes. Start with a free 15–20 minute consultation to discuss what you need, ask questions and consider whether we are a suitable fit. Sessions are in English. If you are outside the UK, please tell me your current location so I can confirm availability before you pay.
You can bring notes, ask for a question to be rephrased or say when you need time to think. If you are autistic, have ADHD or have another communication preference, we can discuss adjustments that would help. A diagnosis is not required to have that conversation.
Would writing be easier?
Weekly written counselling offers one personal reply from me through Carepatron each week for £50. We agree suitability, how much you can send and a response day before starting. It is a scheduled written exchange, not a live chat or immediate support service.
If you are seeking joint work, visit couples therapy. Individual sessions focus on your experience and do not require your partner to participate.
Questions you may have
Do I need a diagnosis to book?
No. You can enquire because relationship worries are difficult to manage or affecting your daily life. The consultation helps us consider what kind of support is appropriate.
Can I come without my partner?
Yes. This is individual therapy, focused on your experience, responses and choices. Your partner does not need to attend.
Can you tell me whether I should leave my relationship?
I will help you explore what is happening and what matters to you. I will not make that decision for you. Concerns about safety, coercion or abuse need appropriate attention and support.
Is this treatment for relationship OCD?
This service should not be assumed to provide specialist OCD treatment. If intrusive doubts and compulsive checking suggest OCD, we can discuss appropriate assessment and specialist support.
How much does relationship anxiety therapy cost?
Individual online appointments cost £70 for 50 minutes. The initial 15–20 minute consultation is free. Availability and suitability are confirmed before starting.
Can I choose written counselling instead?
Where suitable, written counselling costs £50 per week for one personal reply through Carepatron. We agree the amount you can send and the weekly response schedule before payment. It is not continuously monitored or suitable for urgent support.
Sources and further reading
For the distinction involving obsessive doubts and compulsions, see the International OCD Foundation’s relationship OCD guide. You can also read the BACP guide to choosing therapy.
Anxious thoughts while waiting for a reply
If a gap in contact brings fear of rejection, read anxious when your partner does not reply. Short blocks and an optional exercise help separate the event, the fear and a practical request.
