Online therapy for men who are holding too much alone.
Counselling for men, in the UK and abroad.
There is a version of this that happens in the car. Engine off, house lit, and you sit there one more minute because you cannot walk in as the man you have been all day. The men who find me are usually that man: still performing, still providing, and privately running on anger that arrives before the words, anxiety that never fully switches off, or a confidence that collapsed so slowly nobody noticed. Some are carrying things from a relationship, control, cruelty, fear, that they have never said out loud, because who would believe it happens to men.
It does. And this is not therapy to make you softer. It is a private, structured place to put the weight down, see what it is actually made of, and change what it is doing to you and to the people you love. Online, in English, in the UK or wherever work has taken you.
- BACP registered therapist
- Integrative therapy online
- Trauma-informed and attachment-aware
- For adults in the UK and internationally
For the man everyone thinks is fine.
You hold the job, the family, the banter. What nobody sees is the third re-reading of a message that felt like criticism, the temper you hate yourself for an hour after, the flatness you cannot explain to a partner who keeps asking what is wrong. Being fine has become a full-time performance, and the audience never leaves.
Some men come because the anger has started to cost them things they care about. Some because they were hurt, controlled or diminished in a relationship, and the shame of that sits heavier than the memory itself. Some because they have been strong for so long they genuinely no longer know what they feel. All of it belongs here, and none of it will shock me.
Common reasons people come
- Persistent anxiety or overthinking
- Burnout and emotional depletion
- Relationship stress affecting mood, confidence or sleep
- Attachment pain, fear of abandonment or fear of closeness
- Difficulty trusting yourself or making decisions
- The emotional aftermath of betrayal, disappointment or rejection
- Feeling disconnected from who you used to be
The sentences men actually say in a first session.
If one of these is yours, turn the card.
I lose it over nothing, then hate myself for an hour.
Turn the cardAnger that arrives before the words is usually the fastest exit from a feeling you were never allowed to have. We slow it down enough to see what it is running from.
Individual therapyShe was the one who hurt me, and I still cannot say it out loud.
Turn the cardIt happens to men, and the silence around it does more damage than the memory. Here you are believed first and understood second, at your pace, with nothing to prove.
Trauma and attachmentEveryone thinks I have it together.
Turn the cardBeing fine is a full-time job with no days off. The work is finding out who you are when you stop performing it, and discovering that man is easier to like than you feared.
More about KitaAnger is rarely the whole story. We work with what sits underneath it.
Anger management on its own rarely holds, because anger is the messenger, not the message. Underneath it there is almost always something a man was never given room to feel: fear, grief, humiliation, the exhaustion of being needed and never asked.
Low self-esteem in men seldom looks like low self-esteem. It looks like overwork, silence, or picking the fight first. High anxiety looks like control, irritability, the third check of the door. And what was done to you in a relationship, the belittling, the control, the fear, does not stop shaping you because you left. We work with the whole of it: the reaction you see, the wound you do not, and the man you would rather be with the people you love.
You do not have to be in crisis to deserve a room that is only yours.
How therapy works
- 01
Say the thing you have not said to anyone. Usually in the second session, sometimes the first.
- 02
Find the pattern. The anger, the shutdown, the checking, and what each one is protecting you from.
- 03
Trace where it was learned, at home, in a relationship, in a country where nobody knows you, without turning it into an excuse.
- 04
Practise the different move under real pressure, the pause before the second sentence, the truth instead of the joke.
- 05
Measure it where it counts: at home, with your children, in the mirror, not in how good the session felt.
A Structured Approach to Your Therapeutic Journey
Common questions
Do you offer therapy for men?
Yes, a large part of my practice is counselling for men, in the UK and abroad: anger that arrives before the words, anxiety that never switches off, low self-esteem, and the things that happened in a relationship that have never been said out loud. Most men arrive believing they should have fixed it alone. Nobody fixes this alone.
I have anger issues. Is this anger management?
Not in the usual sense. Anger management teaches you to hold the lid. That has its place, and we use it where a temper is costing you a job or a marriage. But the lid is not the problem. We work with what is boiling underneath, so there is less to hold down in the first place.
Can therapy help a man who has been through domestic abuse?
Yes, and it is one of the most important things I do. Men who have been controlled, belittled or hurt by a partner often carry it in silence because the story says it does not happen to men. It does. This is individual work, at your pace, and being believed is where it starts.
I do not want to spend an hour talking about my childhood.
Fair. We start with what is happening now: the reaction, the fight, the flatness. History comes in only where it explains the present, and only as far as it is useful. You are not here for an archaeology project.
Will anyone know I am doing this?
No. I am bound by BACP ethics and confidentiality, sessions are online and private, and nothing goes to an employer, a partner or anyone else. Men living abroad often find this easier than they expected: no waiting room, no small town noticing your car outside.
What if I do not know what is wrong, only that I am not myself?
That is the most common starting point, not a reason to wait. Not myself is a real description. Working out what it means is what the first few sessions are for.
The hardest sentence is the first one. You can say it to me.
Most men who book the consultation have been thinking about it for months. Twenty minutes, no forms, no pressure, and you decide from there.
Start with a free 15 to 20 minute consultationBetween sessions, you may find my resources and worksheets helpful.