Individual online therapy · Kita Tabachka
Therapy for shame and low self-esteem
“I am not good enough.” “If they really knew me, they would think differently.” If thoughts like these make it difficult to feel at ease with yourself or other people, you can bring them to online counselling.
£70 for 50 minutes · Free 15–20 minute consultation
Book a free consultation
When being hard on yourself takes over
You may dismiss a compliment, feel embarrassed about needing help or spend hours replaying something you said. Perhaps you can show understanding to other people but judge yourself by a much harsher standard.
Shame and low self-esteem are not identical, but they may overlap in your experience. We can explore what these words mean to you without turning them into a label for who you are.
“Why do I feel ashamed of myself?”
We do not need to settle on an explanation before beginning. You might want to talk about a specific event, how you were treated, a relationship or a belief about yourself that has become hard to question. You decide what you are ready to discuss.
Counselling can provide space to explore negative beliefs about your worth and how they affect your choices. We will pay attention to your current circumstances as well as experiences that feel relevant to you.
What might we work on together?
- Recognising the words you use against yourself after a mistake.
- Understanding what makes asking for help or saying no feel difficult.
- Exploring comparison, perfectionism or the pressure to earn acceptance.
- Finding ways to express a need without automatically dismissing it.
For example, if you agree to something you cannot manage, we might explore what you feared would happen if you declined. We can consider a response that respects your limits and make room for the uncomfortable feelings that follow. There is no requirement to become confident overnight.
Further reading: low self-esteem in men looks at the ways self-doubt can be hidden behind achievement, independence or appearing to cope.
When shame affects closeness
If you keep people at a distance because you worry they will judge you, you may also recognise loneliness even around other people. If your main worry is being rejected or left, read about fear of rejection and abandonment. For persistent worry across everyday life, see online therapy for anxiety.
Meet Kita and discuss what you need
I am Kita Tabachka, a BACP-registered integrative therapist. You can check my registration, 409623. Individual online sessions cost £70 for 50 minutes. The first consultation is free and lasts 15–20 minutes.
We discuss your needs, availability, confidentiality and whether this support fits before starting. Sessions are in English. If you are outside the UK, please tell me where you will be during sessions so I can confirm international suitability.
You can bring notes or ask for time to think. If writing feels easier, email therapy may be suitable: £50 per week for one personal reply through Carepatron on an agreed day.
Questions you may have
What if I feel too ashamed to explain everything?
You can start by saying that something is hard to talk about. You do not have to give every detail in the first conversation. We can discuss pace, confidentiality and its limits before going further.
Can I work on low self-esteem even if my life looks fine?
Yes. You can seek support for self-criticism, difficulty accepting yourself or feeling not good enough even when you are managing work and relationships.
Will I be told just to think positively?
The work makes room for your experience and the reasons a belief feels convincing. We can consider more balanced ways of responding without asking you to pretend that difficult experiences did not happen.
Further reading: BACP on self-esteem and counselling.
Page published 6 October 2026. This practice does not provide emergency support. If you need urgent help, use your local emergency service or the NHS urgent mental health help guide.
