KITA TABACHKA, MBACP · BACP REGISTERED THERAPIST
Why do I keep reopening the same decision?
You make a choice, then start checking it again. A practical way to separate new information from another round of doubt.
You choose. Then a different possibility appears, and you start the whole conversation with yourself again. What if the other option was better? What if you regret this?
What has actually changed?
Before reopening the decision, write down what brought you back to it. Is there new information, a changed circumstance or a concern you had not considered? Or has the same uncomfortable feeling returned?
You can take the discomfort seriously without automatically treating it as evidence that you chose badly. Equally, a useful new fact deserves attention. The aim is to tell the two apart.
Give the choice a review point
For a small, reversible decision, try writing: “I chose this because… I will review it when…” Make the review point relevant to the choice, rather than checking every time you feel unsure.
For example: “I will try this routine for a week, then look at what helped and what did not.” High-stakes decisions may need more information or professional advice. You do not have to force a quick answer.
Put the decision on a page
The Uncertainty Map includes guided exercises for indecision, fearing regret and reopening choices. Worked examples help you see how to begin before you write your own response.
If the decision concerns life after an affair, Can We Get Past This? offers a separate place to explore questions, boundaries and what you need next.
Explore both PDF workbooks for £19.99, or choose either book for £14.99. The bundle saves £9.99 compared with buying both separately.
Educational reading, not individual therapeutic advice. All workbooks are PDF downloads.