Trauma and attachment therapy
Trauma-informed online therapy for old patterns that keep surfacing in present relationships.
Sometimes the problem is not only what is happening now. It is what the present moment touches. A delayed message, a change in tone, criticism, distance, inconsistency, conflict or emotional withdrawal can activate something older and far more powerful than the moment itself.
Attachment therapy looks at those reactions with clarity rather than shame, so there is more room for choice.
- Trauma-informed therapy
- Attachment-aware relationship work
- Online in English for UK and international clients
- For individuals affected by relational triggers
This is for you if your reactions feel bigger, faster or more painful than the moment seems to explain.
You may panic, shut down, cling, overexplain, go numb, lose trust quickly, or feel abandoned by small shifts in closeness. On the surface, it can look like overreacting.
In reality, there is often a deeper emotional logic driving it.
Common patterns
- I know I am reacting strongly, but I cannot stop.
- I feel abandoned quickly, even when part of me knows it sounds extreme.
- I shut down when things become emotionally intense.
- My body reacts before my mind can catch up.
- Old pain keeps showing up in new relationships.
- I want closeness, but I do not feel steady inside it.
Understand the reaction before trying to change it.
Hover or tab through each card to see how the work meets it.
My body reacts before my mind can catch up.
Hover or focus to readYour system learned to move fast to keep you safe. We slow it down with regulation, so reflection has room to arrive.
Individual therapyI feel abandoned quickly, even when it sounds extreme.
Hover or focus to readYou are not reacting only to now. You may be reacting to every time before when now ended badly. That makes sense, and it can change.
Attachment stylesOld pain keeps showing up in new relationships.
Hover or focus to readPatterns repeat because they once protected you. We link present reactions to history without increasing self-blame.
Relationship anxietyUnderstand the reaction before trying to change it.
This work is not about labelling you as broken, dramatic, needy or too much. It is about understanding what your system learned to do in order to survive inconsistency, absence, criticism, emotional unpredictability or relational danger.
We begin to map the pattern: what triggers you, what meaning your system gives the trigger, what emotional state takes over, what you then do to protect yourself, and what that protection costs you.
How therapy works
- 01
Understand the trigger pattern.
- 02
Name what the reaction is protecting.
- 03
Build regulation and reflective space.
- 04
Link present reactions to history without increasing self-blame.
- 05
Strengthen self-trust and relational steadiness.
Related pages
Common questions
Do you work with men who have experienced domestic abuse?
Yes. Men who have been through domestic abuse often carry it in silence, because the story they were handed says it does not happen to men. It does, and its effects are the same: hypervigilance, shame, self-doubt, difficulty trusting. This is individual work, at your pace, and being believed is where it starts.
What is love avoidance?
Love avoidance is a protective pattern, not coldness: closeness starts to feel like a threat, so the system creates distance through work, silence, criticism or leaving first. It often pairs with an anxious partner and intensifies abroad, where the relationship carries more weight than it was designed for. It is workable once it is named as protection.
Why do attachment wounds surface after moving abroad?
Relocation strips away the routines, friendships and familiarity that quietly regulated you. Without that scaffolding, old attachment wounds surface: needing more reassurance, scanning for rejection, or shutting down. Many expats meet their attachment patterns for the first time abroad. It is not regression. It is exposure.
Do I need to know my attachment style first?
No. Knowing that closeness, distance or emotional triggers affect you strongly is enough.
Can trauma and attachment work be done online?
Yes, when paced carefully and when online work is clinically appropriate.
Is this general anxiety therapy?
Not exactly. This page is for distress strongly tied to attachment wounds, relational triggers, inconsistency and repeating relationship pain.
How do attachment patterns show up when I am far from home?
Moving abroad strips away the people and places that used to regulate you, so an existing attachment pattern can become louder. Anxious patterns may intensify into reassurance seeking; avoidant ones into withdrawal. Therapy helps you understand the pattern rather than be ruled by it.
Is therapy useful if my difficulties started in childhood but surface in my relationships now?
Yes. Early attachment experiences often stay quiet until a relationship, or the isolation of life abroad, activates them. Trauma and attachment focused therapy works gently with those roots, at a pace your nervous system can tolerate.
You are not too much. Your system may be carrying too much.
This work is not about blaming the past for everything. It is about understanding what still lives in the present and helping you respond with more steadiness and freedom.
Start with a free 15 to 20 minute consultationBetween sessions, you may find my resources and worksheets helpful.